If Cars were Insects

"POD" (podimus) 08/04/2013 at 20:52 • Filed to: If Cars Were, Autozam, NA Miata, Mazda, Speed3, Bugs, Insects, Lists

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Ok, so my last post on Cars and their !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! equivalents went over rather well. So I figured I'd soldier on. Now lets look at the same vehicles with an insectoid field of view. I (and through transverse properties, you) love these cars, but do you love their insect counterparts?

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Annnd lets begin.

The Autozam AZ-1. We all know this !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is sexy as hell and needs to be in any Jalops garage. That said, what would it's insect cousin be?

Well, my money is on the common fruit fly. While the car itself is not common, it does jink and jive in a way that makes it almost impossible to slap away into oblivion. It is always there when you least expect it (even when there is no fruit!).

Now, how about the Toyotaru twins? Gemini cousins that would make most asphalt yield and bend beneath them (given you put sweet sticky tires on them). They are low to the ground, and live on momentum. Not terribly powerful, but ready to move if you provoke them.

I think the water glider is the closest match to the Toyotaru kissing cousins. It lives close to the water, skitters away quickly at the slightest touch, and isn't afraid of it's own reflection.

So, lets move onto the Focus ST. Smooth curvaceous wedgeness. With seats the keep you in place and an active traction control system that holds the road like few others FWD cars can.

Given that this car is smart and has a hive mentality (ALL HAIL MYFORD TOUCH). I'm thinking something along the lines of a Queen Bee. Master of the roost, large and in charge rear end, and the smarts to let her minions do her work for her. The Focus ST is a halo car for its segment and is deserving of the Queen title.

Now, onto my daily driver, the fat bastard of a manic hatch, the Gen2 Speed3. It's a torque monster and won't think twice about bullying people. It's front heavy, and has a distinctive face.

So what bug could equate to this bullying monster? The Atlas Beetle. Lots of torque, pushes hard, distinctive nose, front heavy. Yup, atlas beetle.

And now the NA Miata. Such a cute little bugger, unassuming, just sitting there and ready for your love, attention, and money....

This unassuming angel is hiding a deadly secret, it wants you to hop in and take her for a spin, but if you do, you'll never be able to go back to "ordinary" cars again. It's an evil vixen who ruins regular Joe-drivers. So with that in mind, I think the Praying Mantis is the best insect to represent this addictive roadster.

So there is my list of some of my favorite cars and what I think their insect equivalents would be. Agree? Disagree? Have combinations of your own that you'd like to propose? Leave them in the comments!

Want to burn me at the stake for blasphemous remarks and general stupidity, leave that in the comments as well, but keep it civil, personal attack comments get dismissed. Remember, this is just a list and a personal opinion.

Cheers!

Tom McParland > POD 08/04/2013 at 20:57

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Too obvious?

POD > Tom McParland 08/04/2013 at 21:03

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Ha! Obvious, yes, but a welcomed answer!

I'd love to drive an Abarth. Especially a black one. It's one of those cars that I think every enthusiast should get a chance to enjoy. Sadly, I haven't had that chance yet.

Decay buys too many beaters > Tom McParland 08/04/2013 at 21:07

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Damn, you beat me to finding pictures.

Tom McParland > Decay buys too many beaters 08/04/2013 at 21:08

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Skills :)

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > POD 08/04/2013 at 21:32

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Really? Nobody thought of this?

POD > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 08/04/2013 at 21:37

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Dung Beetle perhaps?

I know the newer VW Beetle is a nice car. I just like the original better. The original drives like crap, but I like it.

Honestly I thought of using the dung beetle for the MS3 until I remembered the Atlas beetle.